Try a Little Tenderness

It’s midterm at my institution.  And maybe it’s exacerbated by an especially rough winter, but everyone seems really frazzled and on edge.  Good will and kind words are in short supply.  So in the interest of a little more campus harmony and a little less friction, may I suggest the following strategies as you interact with your colleagues and your students (and for those of you of a certain generation, enjoy the “Pretty in Pink” reference below)?

* I never cease to be amazed at the power of saying “thank you.”  At this point in the semester, with a few possible exceptions, everyone is working hard.  And you know what?  We all want to be recognized for our efforts.  It will cost you nothing in the long run to thank your assistant when he hands you the report you asked him to prepare, to email and thank the staff person in the registrar’s office for finding that information you needed, or to thank that lovely student who held the door for you when your hands were full.

* Students are stressed.  And yes, that will make them behave badly, but remember: you have the power in this relationship.  If they’re pestering you with emails about what’s going to be on the test or when you’re going to hand back the graded papers, take a deep breath before you respond.  You can still hold your ground on test preparation and your timetable for returning work and insist that they treat you with respect.  But do so in measured tones without rising to the level of their anxiety and frustration; this will go a long way to diffusing any potential conflict.

* By this point in the semester everyone is busy.  Your busy is not special.  Your overwhelmed-ness is not unique.  So stop acting like the rules don’t apply to you or that you should be treated differently when it comes to meeting deadlines and interacting respectfully with your colleagues.

* Please don’t send the exasperated email that you dashed off when you got that infuriating message from your colleague or student.  Go ahead and write it, but don’t send it.  Let it sit for at least twelve hours and revisit it later.

* And when in doubt, breathe, hydrate, and eat an apple.  And hope that the end of the semester comes soon.

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